Sometimes our heart is empty. The kind of empty where you cling to your pillow when you awake for fear of the same undesirable day ahead. The same drudgery. The same loneliness. The same unfulfilling relationships you may be having with friends, family, coworkers, etc. The same blah.
So what matters, then, when your heart is empty?
You matter.
Even though you don’t feel it, can’t believe it, and certainly aren’t living it—you still matter. Every smile you fake, matters. Every tear you cry, matters. Every breath you breathe, matters.
Luckily, both of those situations are very uncommon, and most surgical procedure for a lumbar herniated disc is often a medical condition which affects the majority of men all over the world. a few prominent name of sleeping tablets that have cialis tablets for sale hit the market are Xanax, Zopiclone, Diazepam, Ambien, Lunesta, Belsomra. These are some of the major cialis buy online reasons to prescribe kamagra medicines to the ED patients. Well erectile dysfunction is not a daily issue it only viagra properien arises when one feels to perform sex on a regular basis and if you are using any medicine for erectile dysfunction or if you have used any medicine to treat any severe health hazards To establish itself in the market as a copy of original branded drug. It is necessary for both the mind and body to improve your physical strength and mental state. bought here tadalafil from india The fact you’re here, means you matter. God didn’t bring you here for no reason. We’re all here on purpose. Designed to do great things. No one is here by accident.
On days when our heart is empty, sometimes knowing we matter is just enough momentum to help us press on.
Often we want to be told/shown we matter. To be acknowledged and not dismissed. Heard and not ignored. Honored and not devalued. However, we can’t wait on others to provide this for us. It’s not their job to provide our worth. We have to be diligent in our own self-worth. Therefore, whenever I’m clinging hard to my pillow and not thrilled to start my day, I’ve learned to tell myself these simple words, “I hear you. I see you. You matter.”
This helps me press on. Even when (especially when) my heart feels empty and blah. What do you do when you wake up empty and blah?
Photo by Stuart Miles
“God didn’t bring you here for no reason. We’re all here on purpose.”
Sometimes, for me, I wonder what that is.
Very though-provoking post, Demetria. Thanks.
Melissa, I think a lot of people wonder what their purpose might be. I’m a strong believer that you don’t have to go on a massive hunt to find it. It’s always there right before our eyes.
Sometimes (most times) it takes our well-focus spiritual eye to see it. The natural eye tends to be blinded by our emotional unrest, disappointments, chaos, and noise.
Love that answer, Dee.
Thanks, Swifty.
I’ve definitely had those moments. You’re right, the best thing you can do in such moments is nurture your own soul. Investing some time and effort into your own emotional health and wellbeing can only benefit your relationships or provide clarity about whether those relationships still align with our purpose.
Sending a huge virtual hug and wishing you a full heart and much happiness.
Thanks for the virtual hug, Reese. Sending one right back to you.
Also, I TOTALLY agree with the part where you said “….provide clarity about whether those relationships still align with our purpose.” So very true, and sometimes we have to purge those people/things that no longer serve our well-being. Thanks for the reminder.
“However, we can’t wait on others to provide this for us. It’s not their job to provide our worth.”
Your post was very quote-worthy today, Demetria. Outside validation. We tend to crave it, don’t we? Our stuff isn’t good enough—nay, we aren’t good enough—without someone else thinking that we are. But without the ability to validate ourselves, to love ourselves, the rush or thrill of outside validation is short-lived. Then we crave more, like a drug. Only until there is self-love and self-worth, will we be full-hearted.
Thanks for a wonderful post.
Mike, quote-worthy you say? Why thanks for the outside validation. 🙂 Plus, we both know how much I love me some inspiring quotes.
Anyhoo, as you said, outside validation is definitely short-lived without the ability to validate ourselves. I like how you equated it to being a drug because of the crave factor, which leads to addiction. That’s a very nice and appropriate spin on the topic. Thanks for that.
Maybe we need to talk??? You are reading my mind girl!
I am on a mission for this cause. I have been there, still there, trying to climb out of this hole!
See my recent post http://skirt.com/susan-boswell/blog/uninspired
Ok- so what amm I doing… well some of it you wouldn’t believe… but part I would like to share is this…
1. Practicing gratitude: this is easy since its November and I am trying to post something everyday that I am grateful for.
2. I am discovering that the people in my life- the negative downers that make me c-c-c-razy-are making me this way because of me, not them. I have discovered that the negative reaction they incite is usually tied to my self. For example, there is someone I have great difficulty communicating with, he is selfish, he doesn’t “hear” me or anyone, he is not emotionally intelligent and I would question the other type of intelligence…lol but really I am seeing how this goes into touching my life and reflects back on my fears about myself. It touches on my own self- doubts. It also touches on fear and insecurity which I am discovering is part of the culprit undermining my peace.
3. I am trying some holistic healing. There is a prayer if you will, you can find various audios but I downloaded a very interesting one The Ho’oponopno Song from Body Mic… it’s a very short prayer… “I am sorry. Please forgive me… I love you… Thank you… “done in a rhythmic manner like a chant. Its supposed to be a Hawaiian healing prayer. Check out the song or see if there is another- lots out there on internet.
4. I am trying to slow down/ get more sleep/ be present/ trying to take some stress off… trying to show some love to myself. It’s not fair to expect others to love and take care of us when we don’t do that for/ to ourselves.
xxooS PS Let me know if you need to talk.:)
Susie Q, I’ve been told I have mind-reading powers. 🙂 🙂
Anyhoo, thanks for sharing your strategies and I can actually say, I’ve done them all—–the gratitude, the rhythmic chanting, meditation, being present, more sleep, showing myself love, etc. These are all good strategies, but I’m like a yo-yo sometimes and go in and out of phases of these. But, you can bet your bottom dollar, I’m always doing something to strengthen, heal, and grow myself into the woman I’m meant to be.
Also, regarding #2 on your list, I’ve often heard whenever we dislike something in someone it’s usually a reflection of something we dislike in ourselves. I don’t know how true that is or not, but people seem to be saying it alot.
BTW, we haven’t done lunch in a very long time, so if you want to talk, you know where to find me. 🙂
Wow! Once again you making me think out loud. There are several days I wake up blah. I have learned to give “thanks” first, then get rid of all negativity and that means thoughts as well as people. Each day I am learning more and more things about myself. One of them being that I need more me time, because for 27 years I have not had any. Also, that I am worthy of the best and I deserve it. The best thing I do for myself is strengthening my faith and just work on being better for myself and my children. It’s not easy, but I am taking every step to feel better about myself.
Sharon, here’s an outside validation from me to you: “It warms my heart to see the inner work you’ve done and are doing for yourself. I’ve seen your broken moments, I’ve seen your lonesome moments, I’ve seen your strength, and I’ve seen your growth. You are a fantastic woman! Your resilience is amazing and something to behold.” I love you, my sister.
Now, it’s not my job to provide your worth. But for what it’s worth…you matter to me.
Also, you’re right…..You’re worthy of the best and you deserve it.
To get here, I have to really work on removing my ego from the process of self-evaluation. It’s not easy since it’s so used to getting in the way. Thank you for the incredibly lovely message. I always know when I come to your blog, I will find something that makes my heart feel, not just my mind think.
I know, Julie, our darn egos cause so much trouble. Reigning it in takes a whole lot of grit and muscle (spiritual muscle). Also, I’m glad you feel a heart vibe over here when visiting. That’s exactly the goal is to touch/inspire/revive hearts. Especially my own heart which requires/thrives on constant inspiration. 🙂
I just remind myself that it’s just “that” part of the cycle of this thing called life…..& keep it moving. That’s what works for me.
I hear ya, Starla, we have to do whatever it takes (mentally and physically) to keep on moving. When we stop, stall, or get stuck is when all chaos breaks loose.
And just for the record, your resilience in life is phenomenal to me. Rock on, girlfriend, and keep on moving!
It’s mainly during the smaller moments: of acknowledging that what I have to say matters, even if others probably don’t think so; knowing that what I have to write is important, even if it’ll take months/years before I can write it in a way that’s acceptable to me; knowing that I don’t have to respond to every potential/possible offense to me.
During those moments, I have to keep speaking to God, who lets me know that I matter, that my heart can never be empty, and that feeling of blah is the devil’s lie. Then I can keep writing, even if it’s not my best, that I don’t have to stay isolated. It also helps to speak to other Christians who have gone through similar difficult times as myself. (Yes, I’m in one of those moments now, where I’m feeling my WIP is kinda crappy! – Just keep writing, I tell myself)
Nancy, that is so true that in those times we have to rely/ talk to God who always let us know we matter. Keep writing, friend.