Sometimes I get an urge to run. To flee the scenes of my life. To drop all the hats (roles) I wear by the wayside and take off in a mad sprint. But not to go anywhere in particular, just to run off some steam and the excess weight of responsibility.
I woke up this morning wanting to stay hidden under my sheets, but of course my roles quickly found me when my youngest son schmoozed me into making toast, grits and eggs for breakfast (mother), and my husband plunged me into unwanted conversation while he got dressed for work (wife) — he’s a morning talker, I so am not.
So I boo’ed and hissed and took on my roles as wife and mother while anxiously awaiting the exact moment when they all left the building for work and school, and the house fell silent. Yum. I loves me some silence.
Then I came into my home office to put on the hats awaiting me here: client emails, writing tasks, webinars, research, phone calls, online presence, building an author platform, working on manuscripts, nurturing my goals, and not to mention NOT getting to the gym this morning (which is a love/hate relationship of its own).
Needless to say, today I’m just not feeling it. I can’t work up the love for it. I’m in a “blah” funk. But wait, it gets worse. In a few short hours (because the day flies by like lightening) the kids get home from school and the fierce, drag-out, homework fights knock me out like a swift ninja kick. Blam!
Some days you just don’t want to be anything to anybody. Some days you just feel blah.
Running is not an option. Hiding never works. So I suck it up. I make do. I press on. Because the blahness passes over. And also during these times of blahness, or anger, or frustration, I remind myself of these brilliant words from T. D. Jakes: “Never make a permanent decision out of temporary circumstances.”
This, too, shall pass.
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Demetria, I get the blahs a lot but I too have to pull myself together because my family depends on me, especially the kids. I love the encouraging quote because it is so fitting. As long as you recognize when you have the blahs and are able to pull yourself through, you’ll be fine.
Amen, Melissa, about recognizing the blahs and pulling yourself through. Otherwise, I think a lot of people would abandon ship, and abandoning your responsibilities is such a wrong answer, even though it gets quite tempting at times.
Yes, we all get those blah days no matter how blessed we are, and you expressed it well here. Isn’t just awful when you want so much to just be selfish and do what you want and let everyone else be, when in your heart you know that’s not who you want to be? As you said, funks to pass!
Nancy I often wish I can wallow in doing my own “thang” and let everyone else be. But unfortunately that’s just not the way it is in life.
So sorry you have the blahs Demetria. Boy do I know how THAT feels! Yes, we have to power through don’t we? What other option do we have?
Gretchen Rubin, who wrote “The Happiness Project” says to “act the way you want to feel.” I try to do this sometimes when I’m feeling blah. I smile when I don’t really feel like it and try to *act* happy. Sometimes it actually helps. (But admittedly – only sometimes!)
Feel better girlfriend!
Charlene, I’ll have to check out “The Happiness Project,” I haven’t read that book yet. Although, I have to admit that sometimes when I smile or act happy when I don’t really feel that way, it only makes me feel phony and inauthentic to myself. So then I get upset that I have to do the pretend thing. Such a vicious cycle. But that’s all it is–a cycle–that’ll go around and come back around, so we live and learn how to handle it better. Thanks for your comments and well wishes.
Lynn, that’s a good idea, I’ll blame it on the weather. Plus, I’m getting over that self-inflicted guilt trip of making my kids do a little more. They’ve been living the high life way too long, and need to be stretched and molded out of their comfort “mommy” zone.
Yep. Funks all around right now. Must be the weather. You know you’re a mother when you feel guilty for taking the time to “do nothing” if it might make one of your kids have to do a little more 🙂
You’re doing better than I am. I’ve looked up apartment prices online and considered moving out and getting my own place. LOL
I have those days, too. Especially when something comes along to change my alone time plans. And I *dread* the bus runs in the afternoon if I’m on a writing roll. ugh. Those days, I wish I could bar the door! hahaha
Melissa M., that’s too funny. Don’t think I haven’t thought about that apartment idea. Oh what peace and serenity that would be. Also, I thought I was the only one who dreaded the afternoon bus runs. Looks like we may be kindred spirits.
Reese, deep breathing and quiet meditation works wonders for me. But some days I get rebellious and want to just sit and stew in my own blahness. Though, today I wasn’t rebellious. Today I was hoping for a speedy recover from it.
I can certainly sympathize and there are lots of days that I feel that way. On days like that I have to take a deep breath and reflect on a favorite mantra.
Yep, I’m with you on this one. Interesting quote. I’m wondering about permanent vs temporary circumstances. Hmm.
Erica, technically and spiritually speaking everything on earth is temporary. Nothing lasts forever. However, I believe in this quote it’s stating we shouldn’t make permanent decisions (i.e., quitting a job, abandoning your kids, ending a marriage/relationship, committing murder, etc.) because we’re temporarily in a situation which makes us feel blah, angry, fearful, frustrated, abandoned, bitter, etc.
We shouldn’t allow our feelings to dominantly dictate our actions (when the feelings are temporary or passing, not constant). We’re typically not in the best frame of mind during those circumstances to make healthy, wise decisions.
Demetria, what I truly love about this post and the responses you are receiving is the common “Amen Choir” resounding among us all. (And perhaps not coincidentally, a mostly female choir.)
I try to remember (oh so difficult) that emotions aren’t reality, but they sometimes can be a warning flag that we need to pay attention to. How are we not feeding our minds, bodies or souls? Why are the gas tanks knocking and banging in our hearts, letting us know it’s running low?
The problem is not always the blahs and emotions, the problem may be the neglect to our selves: our souls–our hearts–our bodies. And, in my experience, that is like a lit fuse leading to a keg o’ dynamite.
Yes, Julie, the “Amen Choir” is singing loud and clear throughout these comments. What a joyful noise we women make when a common denominator strikes our emotional chord. Women are so much more alike than we are different.
Also, I must hand the mic over to you, let you step up to the pulpit and……PREACH! Girlfriend, you hit it right on point. I totally and completely agree with every single word you said. Amen.
Well you already know for me running and hiding is not an option. There are days I just want to stay in bed and not do anything, but it never works out that way. I have been a single parent for 27 years. OMG! That is a long time. Yet I have not been able to run and hide, even when I think I might want to. My duties as a mother always comes first. But then again, I can’t complain. BLESSED!
OMG, Sharon, it’s been that long??? My how time flies. Of course running is not an option for you but hiding can be. The only problem with hiding is they always find us so it doesn’t work for long. But as you said we shouldn’t complain because we are blessed.
I’ve been having the blahs like the ebb and flow of tides. I ran & hid this weekend, but there is some sliver of hope that insanely motivates me to not give up. I have come to realize that just like the waves reshapes and changes the shoreline, thw blahs are reshaping me and redirecting me to a new path. Hopefully, it will all come together for a greater good. I understand about roles. You have those days when you want to just “be.”Maybe it is the trait of a writer, to have blah moments to steer us toward our greater work…or to help us keep the bats in the belfry..:)
Alexandra, I like the tides analogy and how the blahs are reshaping and redirecting our paths. I’ve never looked at it that way before, but I can see the validity in it. Thanks for the new perspective. I love seeing things from different angles, it makes me feel I’m consistently growing and expanding.
Demetria…
Sorry it took me so long to get over here. Lots going on and trying to do it all with a bad flu. Much of it has been neglected. And trying to wear too many hats at once, too many projects that always need attention at the same time, has me frazzled.
This is even how it went when I came over here: I read it…pulled up the comment box, but dashed over to FB when I heard the “comment alert” I had been on FB earlier, and it trickles away after leaving, but I had been quite witty lately, campaigning a little for Best Commenter in the Paying Forward Award for Feb. So I dashed over there.
Then got riled a little by a comment made on a Huff Post political thing I follow…so much so, that it incites me enough to write an essay about it. So that’s something I want to do and soon. Like now. And with a couple other ideas and obligations (some other awards I’ve yet to acknowledge) that need attention, it makes for a busy schedule of writing.
Plus, trying to transfer everything to the other blog, learning it, and prettying it all up. Write a decent About Me, a few shorts for competition, first revision of Monty…so many things happening all at once. And they’re good things, just many—and I can’t afford to turn any of them down, or at least that feels to be the case—so I’m quite busy.
And today is the funeral of a member of the church that I want to attend, so that takes up the morning to early afternoon. I’ll have to get ready for that, too.
If I had to add kids to that, like you do (which I sort of do, with Mom and Sis and Nephew living here, who are all quite childish at times), well…that’s why I write for them, not raise them.
I admire you!
And if you want to vote for me, it’s at: http://sylmion.blogspot.com/2013/02/paying-forward-awards-nominees.html
If you’d ever get on Twitter, you could tweet it for me, but noooo…actually, I barely use twitter except for things like my posts, this, or wisecracks on occasion. But it’s handy to have for times like this.
And also just to say, “Hey, you!”
Okay…must…go. :o)
Okay, Mike, you win the “Most Frazzled” award, hands down. Phew! I got exhausted just reading all the conflicting priorities you’re trying to juggle, and I’m sure there’s several others you didn’t even mention.
Also, don’t think I didn’t catch that Twitter punch you gave me. But lucky you, I hopped over to “Paying Forward” awards and voted for you. So there!!
Now you can cut me some Twitter slack. I’ll do Twitter eventually. I know, I know, I keep saying that, but I have to do an attitude adjustment first. I have to change my “not so positive” attitude about it, then I’ll jump on.
My biggest feeling of the blahs these days is ironing the clothes for my household…….me & hubby. I have come to hate that chore!!!!!
Oh ick, Starla, I know the feeling. I used to iron the kids clothes in bulk for the week (every Sunday evening) so they could grab-and-go on school-day mornings (which meant less morning drama for me). However, I stopped doing my oldest son’s because he’s now old enough to do it himself (thank God). Regarding the hubby, he irons his own stuff everyday, as do I. But I try to wear things that don’t need ironing.
Hi D-
Yes, I am a runner AND a hider. My favorite place to hide is just inside myself. Funny thing, being the hat wearer, no one seems to notice as long as you keep wearing hat and doing the job!
Spring (and summer) is coming my friend, and may I suggest you find the means to run away for just a bit? All those jobs get very tiring and make D not a fun person. You have to make time to renew yourself outside the demands of others.
Been there done that…
Of course, there is chronic and the acute cases of running and hiding and that may only take care of a bit of it…
I have also found that one action outside the norm can open other pathways, and maybe we find thinking of ourselves with higher regard and put on the hat that allows us to take care of ourselves, too…
But I’ll get back with you… I am still working on it.
That is correct, Susan, too many hats are tiring and it does make D not a fun person. Also putting ourselves in high regard is a total necessity. We must always put on the hat that allows us to take care of ourselves. Well said, my friend.