One of the things I’ve wanted to do with this blog was have guests come on and tell their stories. To uplift, enlighten, or entertain us from their perspective.
Today I’m putting the ball in motion, inspired by a recent collaboration with Julie Luek to do a blog swap.
Julie is a published freelance writer and biweekly contributor to the writing website She Writes. She is also a novelist currently working on her first women’s fiction piece. Julie’s blog A Thought Grows provides a wealth of inspiring and well-written information on the craft of writing and her writing journey.
Julie and I have swapped blogs to give added dimensions and interesting layers to our blog’s content through guest posts. You can find me on her blog today (doing way too much talking about myself), while I’m pleased to hand over the reign to her on this blog. Feel free to leave comments in both places.
Please welcome Julie Luek as today’s guest blogger. She has generously written the post below.
Lone Bird Seeks Flock
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One of my favorite signs of spring each year in our small mountain town is the return of the Great Blue Heron. They are large, gray, water birds, beautiful and graceful on land but awkward in flight, their feet dangling behind them, their wings never quite rising above their body line. They are known for their solitary life and harsh croaking sound when they feel like their world is being threatened.
Sometimes I feel like a heron, even though, in my heart, I really want to be the
beautiful, confident swan swimming with other graceful swans.
As I get older, and my children prepare to leave the nest, I’ve been making more of an effort to reach beyond my solitary ways and connect with others. I especially value the nurturing care women can provide each other—whether it be friends in my community or online connections I’ve made. I admit to still harboring insecure feelings, a bit like that awkward bird in flight, when I try to mingle. But I’m appreciating more and more the value of surrounding myself with people who can teach me, laugh and cry with me, cheer me on or even constructively and lovingly move me forward.
How about you? Are you a lone bird or one who easily flocks with others? How have you made time for friends and connections in the midst of your busy schedule?
Thank you, Julie. Please show Julie a warm welcome in your comments below.
Julie, like you, I’m a lone bird. I don’t easily flock with others. I typically fly around in my small circle of friends I’ve already established.
My husband, on the other hand is a flocker. So by default (hand-me-down), I find myself at events or in situations where I have to mingle/socialize with new people. Not my favorite thing to do, but sometimes new connections come out of it.
Many of the new friends I’ve made since moving to North Carolina are a result of being dragged to social events with my husband. So I guess our introvert/extrovert clash sometimes compliment each other.
Demetria–Not to wax too religious here, but I think about the circle of friends Jesus had. He knew a lot of folks, had 12 close, and among them 2-3 really close. It’s a comfortable model for me as well. I don’t expect everyone to be my best friend, but a support group of trusted souls is life-enhancing.
When you work from home it is easy to become a lone bird. Through the magic that is social media we get to meet fantastic people, some who might even turn out to be some of our biggest supporters. (So lucky to have met both of you online!) But, I think this solitary lifestyle and social media can make us forget how important it is to get out and meet other people IN PERSON.
Like you, Demetria, I moved to North Carolina and I didn’t know anyone in the area. This year I’ve been attending lots of events for my local RWA chapter and NaNoWriMo. It’s been great to get connected with others. I’ve also retained some wonderful friends I made while working a corporate position for several months. It is definitely nice to spend time in the company of others.
Julie,
I loved the blurb on the herons and swans. I used to want to swim with the swans more, but realized that I truly like being a heron, and am pretty comfortable in my own feathers.
I still mix with the swans plenty, admire their beauty and their contributions to the world, but rest content in the knowledge that I can offer at least one thing that swans can never give – my heronness. I love being that big ol’ awkward, lanky grey goof.
I love the idea of a blog swap.
I’m a lone bird, although I do enjoy blogging and interacting on the internet. 🙂
Roxanne— I so agree that the in-person contact is vital. It’s wonderful to have online friends, but sitting down with someone, sipping a margarita or wine, laughing, crying– it is soul-renewing.
Mike, yeah for the most part I’m comfy in my gray feathers, but I don’t want to be an “odd duck” in the process (how far can I carry the fowl theme?). 🙂
Hi Melissa— let me know if you’d ever like to do a swap. I had so much fun interacting with Demetria more and getting to know her better through this.
Melissa, welcome and thanks for visiting.
I can be a loner, but often times try and push myself out of that. I had raised a niece and nephew for ten years as a single parent, until they entered 7th grade and everything went downhill. I tried all I could to keep us together and utilized every service I could think of or heard about, to no avail. Now, although it can be difficult for me to get beyond the “acquaintances” stage with friends, I thank God for the peace I have in my life, and continue to pray for my niece and nephew.
Nancy, welcome and thanks for visiting. Like Julie said, that’s a tough story and my heart goes out to you. I wish you all the best in getting beyond the “acquaintances” stage, because having a supportive community is priceless.
Nancy— such a tough story, I’m sorry. I can see where reaching out would feel difficult now. So glad you’re in our “blog world”.
Ahem.. YOU’RE in our blog world. Good grief. Writing overload.
Welcome Julie. 🙂 I am definitely a lone bird. Demetria is one of my good friends and I love our small circle of friends. As I am getting older, it has been a learning experience to try and open up to others.
Sharon— I totally loved your comment on my blog to Demetria. I could tell, just from your tone, that you two are friends and you are her cheerleader in life. I love that!
You know, I’ll never be one to have a big crowd of friends. I’m just a tad too private for that, but I am trying to forge new friendships– like what you two share. It’s enviable.
Sharon, thanks for welcoming Julie into the blog fold. You, my dear, are “good people” and I’m always happy to be your cheerleader, too. You rock, Sharon. I mean that sincerely.
I’m naturally a lone heron, but I’m working on becoming a swan. The community of fellow writers definitely helps me to stay connected with others.
Gary, welcome and thanks for visiting. There are a lot of lone herons here, so welcome home.
Gary— Thanks for stopping by and reading. I bet most writers, by the nature of what we love, are more heron-like in our approach. That’s half the struggle with the platform/marketing piece of what we have to do. Like you, I love the online connections. I need to work on the real ones too.
this was lovely! i think moving around has made me a lone bird too. and tho i’ve stayed in our latest nest a while, my close friends have flown! very greatful for the online access to make new connections and stay in touch with old friends!
love seeing the blue heron!
Tara, thanks for stopping by. It’s always wonderful to have new visitors.
I understand about close friends who’ve flown from the nest. It then becomes an adjustment to fill the gaping hole they’ve left behind.
Glad to see you’re making new connections. Welcome.
Hey Julie- great to catch you here! I loved the blog. I am one of those folks split evenly down the introvert/ extrovert scale. I guess I am a mutant swan-heron! LOL Yuck!!!I have to have both. can be trying at times since I am trying to drink in a lot of opposites! Which is not to say I don’t have my social anxieties- particularly if I am among swans on a day I feel like a buzzard. But I will say among my friends, with whom I am BLESSED!!!- is that I trust them with my heart and never feel judged by the ones who are my true friends. By reaching out, I find they make me feel the very best about myself- there is awesome support- and I hope to give back the same. Like you, I like to draw in to myself and can be VERY content there – but there is an awesome world to connect with (and gain other perspectives from) out there on the “other side…”
Tara— moving around a lot certainly adds a complicated dimension to make friends. I agree, online friends are terrific!
Susan–I love “mutant swan-heron” that’s great! I think you’ve hit it on the head for me. I want to connect better than I’ve been doing because, I agree in my heart, “there’s an awesome world to connect with (and gain perspective from”. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Whenever I’m alone I want to be with others, and vice versa, so I have no idea what I actually am 🙂
Great blog you’ve got here Demetria!
Annalisa– A confused bird. Herswan. We’ll give you your own species. Glad you stopped by and checked out Demetria’s blog.
Annalisa, welcome and thank you so much for visiting. I love new faces.
Welcome Julie!! Enjoyed the blog. Lone bird here. I am a longtime friend of Demetria’s and we live several states apart so we don’t get to spend much time together. Although we meet plenty of people throughout our lives, no one can replace those that are so dear to us.
Miss you D, and Sharona!!
I’m definitely a lone bird but thank goodness for blogging and the other online communities of writers. That helps me to aspire to one day become a swan.
Starla— repeatedly during our little blog swap, I’ve been touched by the depth of Demetria’s friends. The reflection on all of you is enviable. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Melissa— We writers are loners, to some extent. I flapped my way to your blog and followed and liked you on FB. Glad you stopped by.