My story isn’t that different from anyone else. My need for self-empowerment and growth stemmed from being sick and tired of a hand-me-down life.
What’s a hand-me-down life?
It’s sort of like an old sweater passed down to you from an older relative or sibling—a hand-me-down. This sweater is stretched out of shape and unflattering.
It’s filled with lint balls and loose threads. It wasn’t originally intended for you, but you make do with it anyway. Trying to make it fit, while all along wishing for something new. You wear it by default, instead of by design.
If you’ve fallen into a hand-me-down life that wasn’t designed for you, you’re not alone. Our circumstances sometimes throw us off into directions we’ve never intended to go. We involve ourselves in careers, activities, friendships, and marriages that doesn’t necessarily fit who we are (or worse, doesn’t fit who we’ve become), yet we stay in them by default. Too afraid to change. Not sure how to redesign. But that’s exactly what has to happen—a redesign. Otherwise we’ll stay stuck in that ratty old sweater. The lint balls will suffocate us and the loose threads will entangle us.
For me, my redesign came when I first cracked opened a powerful resource book several years ago called “You’ll See it When You Believe it,” by Dr. Wayne Dyer. This opened up a whole new perspective for me and sent me feasting on all the knowledge I could get my hands on that would empower me to design a life that fits who I am now.
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Phew! It’s exhausting and a constant daily struggle, but the point of the matter is this; I’ve decided to take part in the design of my life instead of letting my life be handed down to me by default.
Yes, some things are out of our control, but all the other things are open for design.
Photo by: Africa
NOTE: I previously wrote this post in 2012. I’m re-posting it because it’s one of my favorites and because it serves as a healthful reminder for me to keep
redesigning my life. I hope it’s a healthful reminder for you, too.
Good for you, Demetria.
Thanks for visiting my blog. 🙂
Good for you, Melissa, on your debut novel today. I think that’s fantastic.
I love this post Demetria and remember it from before. It’s such a powerful metaphor. Thank you so much for the reminder. I’ve been wallowing in a bit of self-pity lately. I know I need to make changes, but ugh, that takes WORK. Thanks for the kick in the butt. Life is too short to live a hand-me-down version. Time to trade in that lint-ball filled sweater with some cashmere!
Charlene, I’ve been wallowing in a lot of things lately, not just self-pity. That’s why I needed this reminder (and reposted it) to keep designing my own life and not let others or circumstances design it for me. Thanks for stopping by.
Oh my sister-friend, you have no idea how this post was like– wham– right where I’m at. I too am in the midst of making some major life changes– scares me, saddens me and gives me hope all at the same time. Once again, we are on very similar life paths. Miss chatting more with you– will be thinking of you as you knit this new and beautiful new sweater that fits you to a T.
This post is like—wham—right where I’m at, too, that’s why I reposted it. I needed the reminder, and if it served as a healthful reminder for others, all the better. Life changes are scary, therefore, we can be knitting buddies and knit our beautiful new sweaters together. 🙂
Wishing you all the best through your transitions.
I love this concept of a “hand-me-down” life. That’s exactly what I’ve fallen into. I’ve made some major changes, but there is still so much work to do. Change can be hard and scary, but it’s rarely ever as difficult as we tell ourselves it will be. And in my experience it is always worth it. Thanks for sharing this post.
Reese, so true that change is rarely ever as difficult as we think (tell ourselves) it will be. We are adaptable creatures, and even though sometimes change is scary, we learn to adapt to it until it eventually feels like the norm.
Thanks for the reminder Demetria. Well spoken and so true for us all. So much work to be done…..and constantly.
Looks like a lot of folks are welcoming this reminder, Starla. It’s a much needed one for me. And like you said….so much work to be done…..CONSTANTLY. It’s the “constantly” that’s sooooo exhausting sometimes. But we always muddle through and find our way.
Dee,
Sorry it’s taken me a month to get here, but that’s where my hand-me-down life has been. LOTS going on. Well, you’ve seen my lack of blogging lately…even had to pull out of A-Z, of which you graciously reminded me. 😉
But I’m trying to grab the reins again and pull back on those things which deter me, veer me off course. Whoa! Thanks for a lovely and appropriate post! Repost. 🙂
Ohhhh I completely understand, Mike. LOTS going on over here, too, thus my lack of blogging and making blog visits. My debut is about to release so I’m burning the candle at both ends and trying not to burn myself. Life is on overload right now.
Thanks for sparing a moment to visit me. It’s appreciated.