I miss the house cleaning service we had a few years ago.
I took pleasure in coming home to a clean house back when we could afford the luxury of a twice-a-month house cleaner.
Yet that was during the glory days before I left my corporate life behind to become a freelance writer and novelist.
My husband and I were financially comfortable and able to splurge on a few niceties. Yet, that all changed when we slashed our budget drastically in order for me to fulfill my writer dreams. That meant the house cleaning service was the first to go. But I miss it greatly. Not only because of the non-stop cleaning I have to do, and the non-stop yelling I do at others (in my house) who’re slacking on their cleaning duties, but also for another reason in particular. Let me explain.
I was in my son’s room one day reaching for his dirty underwear wedged between the dresser and the wall. It was laundry day, and as usual I had to hunt down the kids clothes. They prefer to throw them around their room and all over the house, instead of putting them in their dirty clothes hamper. Go figure.
With one hand leveraged on the wall, I bent over to retrieve the skid-marked underwear (don’t act like you don’t know what skid marks are), then hoisted myself back up. The hand, which leveraged me on the wall slid across a bumpy surface. Immediately, my motherly instincts told me if I take a closer look, I won’t like what I’m about to see. But I looked anyway.
“What is this?” I said to my son. Though I already knew what it was, I wanted to hear what his story would be.
Men were asked a single question survey about repeated penile failure, and then polled on their eating http://downtownsault.org/author/saultdda/page/3/ order cialis online habits over the last 24 hours for assessing their caffeine consumption. This medicine works better and also don’t get destroyed if kept away from getting exposed to levitra online sales light, moisture, and heat. It helps to increase the sperm count cialis without prescription downtownsault.org in males Sperm count should be investigated at an early stage. Prosolution gel for men does not leave behind a sticky mastercard generic viagra residue or a foul odour, contrary to many other creams and gels. “What is what?” He came next to me, stooped over for a closer look, then hunched his shoulders rapidly and repeatedly. “Um, I dunno. Boogers, maybe?”
Keep in mind, I’m talking to a teenager who recently turned fifteen, and old enough to know better.
“Why is there a cluster of dried boogers on the wall?” I asked.
He was silent for a second, then dropped his head in defeat. “I didn’t have tissue so I just flicked them over there.”
Is he serious? Wouldn’t you just like to wring his neck? The bathroom is right next to his room. There’s a butt-load of tissue there. Who leaves booger clusters on a wall?
Needless to say after giving him my infamous pissed-off-mom tongue lashing, I made him get a wet towel and clean it up.
And that’s why I miss the house cleaner. If we still had a house cleaner, she’d have gotten rid of that cluster before I ever had a chance to witness it.
Photo by Domdeen
Eeeewwww.
I ought to be more grown up than that. The skid marks didn’t gross me out at all…everyone with an ass gets those, but the boo…the boo…
Eeeewwww.
This was a great post, D. Loved it. And I too, need a house-keeper. The two that live here for free don’t seem to understand that cleaning was part of the agreement. I feel like I’m living in clutter and filth. Oh yeah, I am.
If I don’t see you before, may you and yours have a blessed and safe holiday season.
I know right? You can’t get more “Eeeaaawww” than that. Just imagine how my hand felt sliding over that darn cluster. Yet the one thing I’ve learned in my 15 years of parenting is with kids in the house you’ll ALWAYS come across an Eeeewww moment—GUARANTEED!
Also, don’t you just love when others in your house feel it’s unnecessary to participate in the cleaning. I tell my husband and kids all the time, “My name is not Hazel, I’m not your MAID!” I believe in group-effort cleaning, NOT a one-woman show.
Have a wonderful Christmas my friend, though I’ll probably do another post before then.
You are a hoot and a half. We never had a house cleaner but I certainly understand having to cut back on just about everything to afford my writing lifestyle. I don’t even venture into my kids rooms; I figure they’re adults (18 and 23). They’re on their own!
Yes, Julie, sometimes you have to cut corners in order to pursue dreams. But things worth having often come with some form of sacrifice.
Also, I always venture into my kids rooms and I always regret it afterwards. 🙁
Demetria Foster Gray……you are truly a hoot. Well……at least you didn’t put a name to the culprit, cause you ” sho nuff” put the gross-ness on blast. Boys will be boys, huh??
Starla, he needed to be put on blast cause that wasn’t even cute. Yep, boys will be boys, and I am so outnumbered in this house with all this testosterone swirling around.
Sooo funny and sad at the same time! You must have had a great house cleaning service. I use amateurs, and know they’d have never caught anything like that! Though amateurs, it’s still nice to come home to a clean (even, mostly clean) home. Lately, I’ve been using my sister because she needs the extra money. She’s pretty good for an amateur, but not reliable in regard to keeping set days. What can I say??
Nancy, my first experience with a house cleaner was back in the late 90s with one of my good friend’s sister. She did a good job and spoiled me for any future cleaners. Though she was only temporarily helping me out because I was fat, swollen with toxemia, and eight months pregnant. But that just goes to show once you get a taste of someone else doing your cleaning, it’s hard to get rid of that craving.
That is definitely true Demetria. Sort of like having cable and a DVR. I don’t ever want to have to do without those!
My young adult son lives at home and it’s still pretty frightening in his room and bathroom. So I completely understand. I don’t clean anything for him. However, it’s still a miserable pain to have to nag him to do it. Usually after a round of “What’s that smell?” 😉
Oh, Roxanne, don’t even get me started on their bathroom. I turn into a raving maniac when I go into that area. Even after they clean the bathroom it still doesn’t look/smell clean because their version of clean means doing a slopped-over rush job. Drives me bats.
THAT. Was hilarious! In fact, I wish I knew how hilarious it was going to be before I read it at work and laughed OUT LOUD. (And I mean LOUD!)
In our old SUV there was a spot on the ceiling (right over where my son sat) full of boogers. Of course he was a toddler then…
Thanks for the laugh today Demetria. The perfect way to start a Monday. (And thank god I wasn’t drinking coffee – I would have surely spit it at the screen!)
So happy to provide comic relief for you, Charlene. Sometimes laughter is the only way we keep from choking the ones we love. At least your son’s SUV ceiling cluster was done at the appropriate age. Doing it as a teenager is just down right disgusting.
Demetria, sorry I am so late. OMG! I laughed so hard when I read this. Just like I tell my boys, ” You are such a dude!” Boys are truly different from girls, gross things are just ok with them.
Sharon, I figured you’d laugh when you read this story. Don’t you just love how our boys find a way to gross us out all the time. Uggghh!!!!!