You know them. We all do. They’re disguised as friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, partners, etc. But what they really are, are moochers.
Those annoyingly, irritating people who overstay their welcome, take advantage of your kindness, and always, ALWAYS want to borrow money. As if you’re put on earth to be their financial supplier.
In my experience, the bulk of this crime lies within the blood lines—most moochers tend to be family members. From your clueless brother Joe, to your crazy Aunt Mabel, family can suck you dry. But there are also those moocher friends who don’t know they’re moocher friends. The ones who always want you to pay for dinner or babysit their kids—often.
Yeah, those guys.
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When I want to be generous with my time, talent or money, I’m always skeptical of the price I’ll have to pay in return. Because once you do something for someone the first time, they automatically think it’s okay to keep coming back for more. And more. This opens a can of worms and dampens the relationship for me, so I retreat behind my hard, outer shell. And when I’m in my hard, anti-giver shell, it’s extremely easy for me to say, “No.”
So you see my dilemma? How can I be kinder, generous, and softer while taking cover behind a hardened shell? A shell created by a lifetime of moochers. And people will always take advantage of you if you let them. Fortunately, I learned early on not to let them.
But the fact is, I don’t mind being generous and helpful to someone. It’s when that fine line of helpful generosity turns into expectation and obligation, where the person you’re helping thinks it’s now your job to ALWAYS help them. Not!
Is it possible to allow your generous side to shine through without being drained and taken advantage of by the dreaded moochers?
You nailed that one MeMe!! I also think people mistake kindness for a weakness. I feel blessed and like to pay it forward and be a blessing to others, but I can only do so much.
Starla, people often mistake kindness for weakness, I totally agree. Which also makes it hard to be generous and kind without having to slap them around with some edgy assertiveness.
I’m proud to say, you’re not one of those moocher friends. You pull your own weight, and I’ve learned a lot from your example of how not to be a moocher (I bet you didn’t know that tidbit of info). Anyhoo, you’re a way nicer person than I am. Some day I’ll get there.
Well I can’t comment on Moochers as far as money borrowing goes, but the part of taking my kindness for a weakness. Has happened to me several times in my life. And I also have that hard shell. But this year I am cracking that shell. I am not going to stop being that loving and giving person I always was.
Meachie, Don’t ever think as your BFF I feel obligated or it is a burden to write on your blog. You are my BFF(my sister) I would always take the time to support my BFF’s with whatever dream or goal they are trying to achieve.
Sharon, it’s a hard shell to crack. I should know because I got a lot of cracking to do myself. But I’m thoroughly glad you’re not a moocher friend. And thanks for the kind words.
Good lordy, the moochers are running rampage this week (and the week just started). I never should’ve written about them. Take cover.